Musings on the Battlefield: Don't Call Me FAT! and, "To IGLA or Not To IGLA?" That is the QUESTION.

No this is not me. generacionpixel.com

ARE YOU TIRED OF BEING CALLED “FAT” “GROSSLY OBESE” or, “OVERWEIGHT”? How bout, “LAZY”? “UNFOCUSSED”? “UNMOTIVATED”?

Well, your uncle John understands and he wants you to know that there are solutions to that problem which I PROMISE will not affect you and your life as A GAMER, in any negative way. I promise.

The first is to grow older like me and stop caring. It sounds easy, but it is no mean feat. The second requires no aging on your part and will turn your body into rock hard gaming armor with absolutely no running required. In fact, there is comparatively little movement at all. Ready?

YOGA.

No this is not me either. massageyogawellnes.com

Seriously gamers, YOGA will change your life and put to rest the constant blather coming from parents, friends, enemies, unbelievers, etc.

“BUT YOGA IS THAT THING WHERE YOU SWEAT A LOT RIGHT?”

Yep, if you are doing it right. I have even heard the odd fart when doing a downward dog at the end of a vigorous flow. It doesn’t matter. The sweat, the fart, the smell (the more people the more … erm … pungent), none of it matters if what you want to do is feel good about yourself and get the jerks off your back.

i.b.blogspot.com

lightningintheboxblog.com

You don’t need a lot of space and you can do it at home standing in front of your own computer, but still, I recommend going into a studio for the first few times.

"WHY?"

Lots of reasons but in particular you need to learn the correct form to avoid injury or stress, and the yogis at the studio will help.

“Did he say ‘YOGIS'?" Yes, that’s what they call the teachers.

The other reason is that you may find you like the culture. It can be like an aerobics class or it can be a neo-eastern spiritual fest with drums, chanting, and lots of people sweating.

So, check it out and tell me if after two weeks of regular practice you don’t feel like an honest to god, superhero.

bf4central.com

TO IGLA OR NOT TO IGLA?

Last weekend I was doing my best to get through 119 with my hands full of 25 and 50 XP bonuses and DYING in the process (where did all these 130s come from?), when I noticed something that made my stomach LURCH: a map with the NO IGLA rule.

Then I saw another, and another, and for a split-second I wondered if I had accidentally bumped the Battlefield 3 widget.

Nope, it was BF4, and surprise SURPRISE, all the Admins of these new servers were … wait for it … HELICOPTER PILOTS.

bf4central.com

First off, I get it. I do. IGLAs in the right hands can ruin a helicopter pilot's day, just RUIN it, I know because I do it often. So, I UNDERSTAND. I do. Still… it’s a dumb rule. Yeah, it is.

“BUT BUT BUT…”

Shhhh, it’s ok. I’m going to help you out with this.

If you want to be a truly GREAT helicopter pilot, it is stupid to ban weapons that will help you achieve that goal.

Bad ol' IGLA.

I said, “STUPID”.

“BUT…but… HOW DOES DYING HELP?”

Metal sharpens metal my friend and a difficult enemy is only going to make you a better player in the long run.

Another problem is that by banning the IGLA you also eliminate one of THE BEST defensive options a helicopter pilot can have: the Engineer with an IGLA.

I honestly don’t know of a more dangerous combination than a demon helicopter pilot and an Engineer armed with an IGLA manning the 30mm cannon of a viper.

You will own the sky. I know because I have seen them. They have ruined my day.

bf4central.com

The point is these games are HARD for a reason. Making them easier takes away from what makes them great. Let’s leave that BS where it belongs, in BF3. Let’s evolve with the game and learn to just get along… CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?

AND I SAW A VISION: IGLAS and HELICOPTERS living together in BLISS…namaste.

Next post: SONY UPDATE and more! PLUS EXCITING NEW CONTEST!

Oh and don’t forget I have an incendiary waiting for your pretty little face so come find me at PSN>JOHNDAVIDFLORES